Category Archives: Life Shit

Darkness .

She told him straight up baby hate me now and I promise that you will thank me later. Time passed and she was right. He wished he never did date her. She was a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing and all he saw was what the minds eye was trained to see. Her inside beauty could never meet her outsides expectancy. But with life there were some good days. Only to be overpowered by the bad ones. His forgiving heart couldn’t see it until the ink had dry and the wall had fallen. Trying to pick up the pieces he couldn’t understand why this was his life. Picked up one of those pieces and now he will never find his wife…

Windows

Looked out the window only to see the darkness that consumes me. Brighter days may be on the horizon but I feel like they we’re never meant for me.
I start to dig myself in a hole and proceed to dig it deeper. I pushed her further away.There’s no wonder why I couldn’t keep her.
She is very strong and independent and certainly doesn’t need to be kept. In my mind I thought she was good. Through her eyes, tears were all that were left.
My mind is always racing. Trying to think of the right things to say. Praying my delivery was right. And you heard it in its proper way.
Looked out the window again and now I do appreciate a sunny day. Sometimes your attitude can make a cloudy day stay away!!!!

On The Horizon

Times have changed but they still manage to feel the same. You feel stuck in a moment but it’s definitely the same game. You’ve got that drank in your cup, with the messenger up. Not sure what winning feels like when you’re down on your luck. Trapped in your own mind, your thoughts tend to become stuck. The demons inside of your head are always willing to pass the buck!  Sometimes it is easier to not give a fuck. Gotta learn to not sweat the little things in life cause your life will just melt away. Worrying about the past can ruin a beautiful day. Life will always be filled with more downs than ups. Keep your held high better things are always on the cusp!

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P.O.F.

You’re kinda asking for a whole lot of me. Only giving a part of you while expecting the all of me. You want them full time benefits but only offering up part time employment. Silly games that you play wondering if they are only for you enjoyment.

You had me on a line just fishing for some compliments. Reeled me in for fun like it was some sort of accomplishment. Hook line and sinker I fell for your bullshit. Threw me back in the dating pool to seek out another relationship.

Drowning in a sea of misery I shouldn’t be left to my own devices. Barely staying afloat, reaching out to a couple of bottles of my favorite vices. Sending out a S.O.S I wonder if she’ll the answer call. Radio silence, I can now see that she never cared at all…..

What I’m Looking For

The nerve of this girl trying to tell me that I’m picky. In a lineup of two no girl would ever pick me.
But maybe that’s the real problem. I’m not looking for a girl but a full grown woman.
Too old for the games but young enough to not need to settle. We don’t have to agree on everything but we can meet somewhere in the middle.
A meeting of the minds hoping we can stimulate each other. Be each others best friend and not just the others lover.
Time will dictate when we’ll meet and I hope that you will see. I’m not looking for perfection, just what’s perfect for me.

Morbid Shit

Racing to get away but every turn you take seems to be a dead end.
Constantly wondering what you did
and could you have been a better friend.

Cries for help go unanswered makes you think you were never loved at all.
Whatever their reasons may have been they were secretly waiting on your downfall.

As you lay sprawled out on the floor
Empty pill bottle laying in your hand.
All your worries exited your body
No longer worried about why they just couldn’t understand..

Goodbye #SadderDay

The excitement in her voice is no longer there when she speaks to me. We used to talk all the time but I scaled it all the way back to barely.

That look in her eye went from happiness to disappointment. Was supposed to carve out some time but never made the appointment.

Body language is key and I can feel the animosity. You probably think I changed up and wonder what happened to me.

I did change but only because you left me no choice in the matter. I see how you interact with others which only makes me sadder.

So I removed myself from the situation cause it was the right thing to do. I hope you find what you’re looking for cause I only want the best for you.

A Letter to MJ

It had been a long while since the last time we spoke. The calendar changed and something inside of you awoke. You chose to come back into my life for reasons I don’t know. These unresolved feelings I have for you I never let go.

You say your life is a mess so I’m playing the supportive role. Making sure your happiness has been my only goal. I ask the same of you cause my life is also currently a mess. But the support you have given me has been mediocre at best.

Yet and still I’m determined make our situation work. I am not your ex and am not the source of your hurt. You have reopened the idea of us so it’s only right to explore it. If we look hard enough than there might just be a future for us.

Inside Of My Head

So much to be desired and a lot of words left unsaid. Life is so much better inside my head. Meeting Mrs. Right and her being the one i wed. Life is so much better inside of my head. Wedding bells rang, Valentines days always chock full of red. Life is so much better inside my head. Children birthed out of love conceived right there in that bed. Life is so much better inside my head. Following in our footsteps from the example we have led. Life is so much better inside my head. Grandchildren’s ears always perked practicing everything we said. Life is so much better inside my head. A fulfilled life is the one I wish I had led. Life was so much better inside of my head….

Blue

The year is gonna end the same way it started. Running, chasing the love train that has already departed. I thought love was a ghost that I was merely chasing. An idea that has left me stagnant and complacent. It’s not a ghost but just a feeling that was never meant for me. I live in a dreaming state cause its easier to face than reality. Realistically speaking I’m trying to outlive some things I’ve come to regret. Punishment fitting the crime is the only thing I’ve come to expect. In my mind my sentence should’ve been completed awhile ago. But when it’s matters of the heart, one can never know. Through all of that, I hope that all this will change with you. Behind even the darkest cloud lies a sky that is blue.