Woke up this morning and
Like always I checked the forecast.
It said it would be clear and sunny
But for me I knew it wouldn’t last.
If there was one thing about me
That I wish you never knew.
Is that even on the sunny days
Somehow the skies are never blue.
Dark clouds follow me around
As if a storm is always in queue.
Rain falls so heavy on my conscience.
Floods of emotions power through.
I wish I could take a look up and
See a sky filled with endless blue.
Until then I guess I will maneuver
Through this life in a sadder, darker hue.
It’s more than a terrible feeling
Knowing that we our using the other.
Too afraid to move on from the past
Never finding that love in another.
What we are afraid of may only
Speak to a love that never died.
Maybe never seeking out the new
Led us to why we never really tried.
Being vulnerable is not the best feeling
My heart in your hands is very scary.
I know you will always do best for you
Blindly believing you will do right by me.
Moving forward in this world
It’s only right that it’s you and me.
Seeing my own reflection in the mirror
The best version of whom I wanna see.
As the sun sets and this day
Has officially been put to rest.
Look yourself in the mirror
Ask yourself did you do your best?
I feel like I’m at the end of my rope
Conscious of bad decisions made.
Only in the back of my mind
Does this keep being replayed.
Maybe I’ll Bourdain myself
With the use of Kate’s spade.
Emotionally hung out with them both
Living out our lives improperly displayed.
Were you the best version of you
Did the world receive your energy?
Positive impact or maybe negative
Are you the person you portrayed to be?
These thoughts can and will happen
Perfection is never one’s reality.
Do you your best everyday
To always be the best that you can be.
I used to love it when our eyes met.
Nervous me liked that kind of contact.
Everything that I have seen
Had me sign a life long contract.
It’s funny how life works out
I thought i was the apple of her eye.
Never saw the fact that i was the 13th reason why.
When the person you are checking for isn’t checking for you. They are checking at the man past you.
I did use to love you
but i lost my spark when I was with you .
I wanted that fire when i was with you now I’m ice cold when I’m with you.
Refrigerated misconceptions l couldn’t put em to rest. Finally warming up to the idea you missed out on the best.
I checked and you slept on me personally
Now I’m only left of what could have been.
You were my greatest love story ever
Cooled too much you can’t even be my friend.
I was always taught to do the right thing
Even when I shouldn’t have to.
My parents voices echo in my my head
Reminding me what I’m supposed to do.
Take the higher ground they would say
Don’t succumb to what someone else does
People will test you if you allow them
Always be the the better person just because.
People will bring you down for no reason
Let them wallow in their own misery.
You create your own happiness in life
We created you and celebrate you happily.
It will always be my honor and a goal
To make sure I live up to what you built.
You made and inspired me to always be me
I will see that thru and live life without guilt .
My ears are not open right now
Wish you knew that from the start.
You spoke way too soon
When it came to matters of the heart.
I have heard it all before
And now I only yearn for something real.
I have to be vocal about this
Because you need to know how I really feel.
I have seen a lot in this life
And I am certain you have as well.
Great things await those
Who’s life has been full of hell.
I say all of this to say that
My ears and heart will one day align.
When that day happens I hope
I will be yours and you will be mine.
The love that exists in my mind.
I want it to live in your heart.
The sentiment only grows stronger
The longer that we spend apart.
Can we actually sit down and just
Tell each other how we really feel
Daydreaming only about you
Just wondering if we could be real.
Now i know this might be a thing
But maybe something you need to hear.
I may not be the one for you but
I just might be and that is your biggest fear.
No fear because this love I have
May never ever reach your heart.
I overthink every single situation
When “Hello” is a really good start.
My eyes are finally open
Now i see life really clear.
You told me who you were
I guess I didn’t wanna hear.
I will never say you led me on
I believed everything I wanted to.
I needed something else and
For that I will never blame you.
I was heading down a dark path
You were there to console me.
When the obstacles were cleared
I thought it would be you and I only.
That was never meant to be
And something that I had to face.
We had that one time, that one good day
Out of anywhere in my most favorite place.
I hope you find what is meant for you
And I am working on doing the same.
Love is not something to be handed out. But a feeling that we need to claim.
One day I just might be someone’s one
Who she is well she hasn’t shown her face.
My brain well off to the races and And reality is clearly telling me to slow the pace.
She is somewhere out there doing her
Patiently waiting on me to enter her life.
In the back of her frustrated mind
She is wondering when she will be a wife.
I’m here to tell her she should out herself
A day went by and we didn’t kill the other. I hope when she does that she will always be open to. Trusting and always finding ourselves in one another.
That is too much pressure for her to take on
She deserves the very best and I will assist.
If I can’t be the reason that she is smiling
Then I failed her and me finding my happiness.
There once was a time
When I had your heart.
But as soon as i gave you mine.
That’s when yours fell apart.
Heading down the wrong path
In me you had a scapegoat
Your breathing was normal
Till I firmly grasped your throat.
Not a hands on situation
But simply more of a feeling.
Before me your life was looking up
Now your basement has become your ceiling.
All of your future ventures
Came to a very grinding halt.
Even with my intentions so pure
Your downfall will always be my fault.
Good days and bad ones as well
But we always yearned for the better place.
Put all that to the side and
Only hope you find yourself in a better space.
Happiness should be everyone’s goal
And I certainly wish that upon you.
Good luck with that and as always
You already know that I am here for you. Peace!