The ugly duckling that could never shed that image. Growing up I could have never have imagined this. Imagination is all I’m left with and even those are unimaginative. I just know instead of being reactive I need to be more proactive. Activate my self awareness and be the person I know I can be. Ditch the insecurity blanket and deactivate insecure me. Now only if it was just as easy as that. Just flip a switch, run far away without ever looking back. But that’s not how life works its an arduous process. Make a plan, stick with it and one should clearly see some progress. So in this process I gotta realize I am no longer an ugly duckling. But a beautiful swan who has turned out to be a king. Salute
Been trying to get away from the woe is me mentality. Cause that’s not the person that I’m trying to be. Better yet that’s not the best version of me. An definitely not the person that I want you to see. Yeah I could probably get a girl with lowest of esteem. But that combo would be a nightmare, nothing close to a dream. So if its a queen that I seek then I need to be her king. No more downing myself gonna keep work on keeping my spirits up and coming.
Liked or unliked never used to matter to me. That idea changed now that I find myself all by my lonely. Thoughts and pics get posted but who really gives a fuck. Even winning the lottery wouldn’t change my bad luck. Mired in a funk that I don’t know how to get out of. Below the ground thinker I need to somehow manage to rise above. I’m in an invisible race I’m just trying to win your heart. Not even sure if the race began and I missed the start. But if I compared you to me I wouldn’t stand a chance. Your beauty resonates so loudly I’ll sit this one out knowing I can’t advance. I saw your big ass smile and knew I wasn’t the reason. Got mad for half second knowing damn well it’ll never be my season. So all I have to give are these words that really have no meaning. Without a her in my life the thought of love is just something I can’t believe in. And just like that my spirits just fell a little bit deeper. In all relationships there’s gonna be a settler and a reacher. So I’m gonna reach out for you cause that’s the most I can do. I don’t want you to settle for me but I know I’m what’s best for you. And I get that for you to believe that I gotta believe too. Just know that I’ll do everything in my power to make all your dreams come true.
There isn’t anything sexier than a girl with ambition. Never settles for anything less than her vision. Can’t be mad if I’m not apart of that scheme. I would be hating if I asked you to put me ahead of your dream. Maybe we can meet up somewhere in between. Seeing something new like an undeleted scene. Sight unseen nothing in this world is unattainable. Thoughts and ideas become one you just gotta be flexible. Reach for the heavens but keep your feet on the ground. Take that leap of faith and whatever you do, don’t look down.
Down and out blinded by a darkness
That one should not know exists.
Patiently waiting for a sign to show
That these struggles are somehow worth it.
I get a whole lot of if you need me
I’m always one phone call away.
That’s a good thing to hear but
Where were you when I needed you today?
I guess it’s my fault cause
I mask a lot of my true emotions
But enough clues have been dropped and by now you should already know this.
I’ve learned that people only care
When they have a little free time.
Preoccupied by their own lives
I can’t expect them to care about mine.
In due time, I’ve been told because
Everything happens for a reason.
I just need a glimmer of light
To get me thru this dark and lonely season.